It has been a very busy time the last couple of weeks, and at times I just wanted to curl up and sleep away days at a time. I thought wake me when the pain stops, or, wake me when things are going more smoothly. Old habits rear their ugly heads in such a comforting manor, that you don't often realize you are back in the grips of them.
I don't really want to stay in that place though, so I have been crocheting, and learning new techniques and patterns. Some are easy to get right away, and others take lots of practice, sometimes have to start over again several times. I'm making granny squares right now, and it can be frustrating when I miss a stitch, or change stitches in the middle of the row, or don't understand the pattern. But I am learning, and learning takes time, and sometimes it takes a toll on the mind.
I've also been reading a powerful book. It will take me a long time to read through it, but will be well worth the time of contemplating and meditating on the information. The book is by Eckhert Tolle, called The Power of Now. I'm learning so much already, and only just finished chapter two last night. Changing thought patterns is much like learning a new crochet pattern. Often I have to rip out rows or entire projects, may have to re-stitch several times, and then I can see the beauty as it begins taking the shape and pattern I want.
The granny squares I am making are twelve inches, and I am putting them together to make lap blankets for the Veterans in the home in Tor C, NM. All the squares are unique in color and pattern. It takes time, effort, and a commitment to complete such a project, but I am finding it fun as well. I see just how much time it takes to make a better me as well.
We are all unique, have our own patterns. Do you want to stay the same pattern for the rest of your life? Or is it time to try a new color, a new stitch, an entirely new idea? Who are you now, who do you want to be ultimately?
Personally, I want to be the best, colorful, unique piece of work that I can be! It means I am in the processing of ripping out the hurts and pains I have carried for years, of letting go of the ugly patterns, and creating an entirely new, happy, cheerful, giving, supportive, loving ME! It will take time to stitch myself together, but with a little bit of effort, and changes in hooks, it will happen. It is a daily choice, a daily decession to make the right choice, to look at life a bit differently. Sometimes I even have to make that choice every other minute.
What about you? Who are you today? What pattern are you working on? Is it becoming more beautiful with every thought and stitch, or is it routine, old, boring, stagnant? What pleasure are you getting from the old patterns? Or is it time to start something new, exciting, and a bit challenging?
Here is to a new day, a new pattern, and new choices, all for the good in life!