A very good friend came to visit with me over the July 4th holiday and went home today. She really is a lifetime friend, and I am so grateful for our connection. She is quite stubborn, and knows exactly what she wants, very independent and strong, and has a go get-em attitude. I've always admired that about her. We had several deep discussions and I didn't want to hear some of what she was saying, and yet she persisted and I finally got what she had to say. It didn't take too much for her to get through the walls I had put up. And for that I will be forever grateful. And it has spurred my need to express who I am, who I want to be, and how I want to live my life. Living the journey of my life's motto.
Learning to appreciate the depths and reality of your own being is not always easy to do. The old records that play in your head seem to ramp up their volume and frequency of playing, just to see if you will still fall to their snares. Some days are much easier to ignore the "songs" and other days it is quite easy for them to take over the mind, and that is what needs to change. My fears, and the "what if" crowd me and try to push and shove this new way of being over the cliff to its death. I refuse to let that happen again.
My life motto is: To Live and abundant, optimistic, healthy life that is full of confidence, creativity, compassion and love for self, and for others. The creativity is strong these days with the crocheting, needle felting, art journaling, book making, and even some knitting. I am enjoying seeing the pieces come to life, or express life and how it is at moments in time. And it continues to grow and that is a grand achievement in my life.
I find that I have lots of compassion for others, yet I lack that for my own self. I can relate with my friends, and even strangers, when they are going through rough experiences. I'm so very grateful for the hard times I have had in my life, as they help me understand how others may feel in similar situations. I can testify that life can be different and better since I have crawled through to the other side of the problem. Not every one uses their past to help encourage others, and that is how I see compassion for others working in my life. I need to be able to let go of the hurts, and the "if only I had said, done...." items in my life, and have that compassion for me. That is a struggle still, yet I know it is improving.
Confidence is an area in life that I have lacked strength in, and only now, in my 40's, am I seeing how I have damaged my own thoughts, ideas, and growth. Confidence is a feeling of power or self-reliance on one's circumstance. How often to we believe that we can get through a situation on our own? Confidence can rock and roll and bang around and stare me in the face, and still I don't always grab hold of it. And like LOVE, that four letter word, that seems to be so easy to say, yet so misunderstood, is another area that seems to change as the waves of the sea. Love can be so calming, and easy, and then it can come crashing down around you to where you cannot breathe. That is how it works and shows itself though, and how I learn to be open to accepting it all. Confidence, in my opinion, is accepting your self worth, or love of who you are, assured that you can do what you need without the anyone's approval except your own. That does not mean I have to condone what people do or say. I need to accept that it is okay to be entirely me, and that NO is a part of my vocabulary, both for myself and for others.
Recently, at a group I participate in, we were discussing the need to say NO and why it is so difficult to say it out loud, and how we always feel as if we have to qualify why our answer is no. One question was "What are we preventing when we do not say No?" I realized at that moment, when I say yes to something, and the answer truly should be a strong no, that I am standing in the way of the learning opportunity of others. By continually taking on a task that I hate, or do not enjoy, or just no longer need to do, then I am preventing growth in myself and others. There is not way to build up my own confidence, or allow others to find it in themselves, if I cannot step out of my own comfort zone.
I have also come to the realization that some people really are okay to let go of. I have found that I trust others too easily, and even though I know better, I still want to believe the best in people. Too optimistic in this day and age? Probably. And now that I can see my own truth, I have the desire to let them go without blame. By doing so, I am finding more peace in my life.
I am convinced that this is the right life motto for me. The only subject I did not touch on earlier is the healthy aspect of it all. Yes, I want to be physically as healthy as possible. Who doesn't, right? I am more interested in the healthy life of the mind and spirit aspects. The physical health can only get better once the mind and spirit are truly aligned. So, in my thoughts, by living true to my being I am beginning the healthy aspect of my motto. And all this provides abundance in my life. Lots of friends, growth, happiness, wellness, and love. What more could there be, really?!
I am taking my stand now! Life is too short to be any one other that who I am, and who I strive to be. I do not have to mold myself to the expectations or wants of those around me. It takes too much energy and effort to do that, and I declare right now, that I refuse to do that any longer. That does not mean it will be easy. I expect trials, so I know I am going in the right direction, strengthening my confidence levels, and having compassion upon myself. Even my creativity will improve by taking this stand. And that is what I want in my life. And I truly believe that by doing these things, I am improving my own well-being, as well as those whom I come into contact with on a regular basis. And even strangers can benefit if so chosen on a daily basis.
So my questions to you are: What is your life motto? What do you want in life? How do you see yourself? Do you only care for where you are right now? Or do you want to help others improve who they are? Do you have compassion for other people? Do you have confidence in who you are and the choices you have to make in life? Who in your life helps you to see where you need to grow? Who spurs your creativity? How can you create kindness in your corner of life? Can you allow others to be compassionate to you? Are you able to be optimistic in a "I am better than you world"? How can you make your life healthy? And can you allow all this to create an abundant life for you?
Thanks for reading,