It has been a very busy time the last couple of weeks, and at times I just wanted to curl up and sleep away days at a time. I thought wake me when the pain stops, or, wake me when things are going more smoothly. Old habits rear their ugly heads in such a comforting manor, that you don't often realize you are back in the grips of them.
I don't really want to stay in that place though, so I have been crocheting, and learning new techniques and patterns. Some are easy to get right away, and others take lots of practice, sometimes have to start over again several times. I'm making granny squares right now, and it can be frustrating when I miss a stitch, or change stitches in the middle of the row, or don't understand the pattern. But I am learning, and learning takes time, and sometimes it takes a toll on the mind.
I've also been reading a powerful book. It will take me a long time to read through it, but will be well worth the time of contemplating and meditating on the information. The book is by Eckhert Tolle, called The Power of Now. I'm learning so much already, and only just finished chapter two last night. Changing thought patterns is much like learning a new crochet pattern. Often I have to rip out rows or entire projects, may have to re-stitch several times, and then I can see the beauty as it begins taking the shape and pattern I want.
The granny squares I am making are twelve inches, and I am putting them together to make lap blankets for the Veterans in the home in Tor C, NM. All the squares are unique in color and pattern. It takes time, effort, and a commitment to complete such a project, but I am finding it fun as well. I see just how much time it takes to make a better me as well.
We are all unique, have our own patterns. Do you want to stay the same pattern for the rest of your life? Or is it time to try a new color, a new stitch, an entirely new idea? Who are you now, who do you want to be ultimately?
Personally, I want to be the best, colorful, unique piece of work that I can be! It means I am in the processing of ripping out the hurts and pains I have carried for years, of letting go of the ugly patterns, and creating an entirely new, happy, cheerful, giving, supportive, loving ME! It will take time to stitch myself together, but with a little bit of effort, and changes in hooks, it will happen. It is a daily choice, a daily decession to make the right choice, to look at life a bit differently. Sometimes I even have to make that choice every other minute.
What about you? Who are you today? What pattern are you working on? Is it becoming more beautiful with every thought and stitch, or is it routine, old, boring, stagnant? What pleasure are you getting from the old patterns? Or is it time to start something new, exciting, and a bit challenging?
Here is to a new day, a new pattern, and new choices, all for the good in life!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My Crazy, Wild, Love Story
Odd things happen in my life. I have some very strange stories to tell. The best story I have is of how I met my husband and how we know we are meant to be together!
In 2005 I decided it was time for my life to have some major changes. It certainly was not easy, but it was a must for my sanity. I will skip over all the yuck part here, but I do need to say that I was married, and needed to get out of it. I left him, and went through several months of angst, changes, and divorce. All for what made me a much stronger person.
In July of 2006, I signed up on MySpace. I received emails from several people, but one caught me a bit off guard with the simplicity of his email. We started emailing back and forth, and one of my first questions was where in our small town did he live. I made an off-hand comment of "watch, I can see your house from mine". When he told me where he lived, I truly could see his roof from my kitchen window.
We finally decided to meet in person, and the night before we were to meet, he called me from the hospital. He had been in a motorcycle accident, bike was totaled, his right leg injured, and we wouldn't be able to meet. We met on Tuesday, July 25th. We realized then that we had passed each other in the local grocery store and smiled at each other. (I remember it vividly! Thought I could get used to that smile every day!)
He helped me move a couple weeks later. Twelve days after I moved into my new place, I was at work, and about 1:40 pm on August 24th, a Ford SUV came crashing through the front window of my work. I was pinned between the desk and the metal shelving unit behind me. I was flown to the local trauma hospital, as I couldn't move my leg. This wonderful man I had met just a month before, came to the hospital. He took me to his home, as I had a hairline fracture in my hip. He took such good care of me. It was at this point I knew he was a keeper!!!!
Ready for the crazy part of the story? One week after my accident, mind you it was 32 days after his accident, there was a story in the local paper. That is when we realized it was the same woman who hit us both! In the same Ford SUV. The accidents were 3 1/2 miles apart, on bright sunshiny days. She got his right leg, and my left. We both have injuries that will be with us our entire lives from the accidents.
The best part of this story is that fact is definitely stranger than fiction. No one believes it really happened that way, but we have the police reports to prove it. Our love is strong, and we are so perfect for one another. He supports me in so many ways, and I know that he appreciates the love I have for him. Our love has been crafted together beyond what either of us could have believed.
In 2005 I decided it was time for my life to have some major changes. It certainly was not easy, but it was a must for my sanity. I will skip over all the yuck part here, but I do need to say that I was married, and needed to get out of it. I left him, and went through several months of angst, changes, and divorce. All for what made me a much stronger person.
In July of 2006, I signed up on MySpace. I received emails from several people, but one caught me a bit off guard with the simplicity of his email. We started emailing back and forth, and one of my first questions was where in our small town did he live. I made an off-hand comment of "watch, I can see your house from mine". When he told me where he lived, I truly could see his roof from my kitchen window.
We finally decided to meet in person, and the night before we were to meet, he called me from the hospital. He had been in a motorcycle accident, bike was totaled, his right leg injured, and we wouldn't be able to meet. We met on Tuesday, July 25th. We realized then that we had passed each other in the local grocery store and smiled at each other. (I remember it vividly! Thought I could get used to that smile every day!)
He helped me move a couple weeks later. Twelve days after I moved into my new place, I was at work, and about 1:40 pm on August 24th, a Ford SUV came crashing through the front window of my work. I was pinned between the desk and the metal shelving unit behind me. I was flown to the local trauma hospital, as I couldn't move my leg. This wonderful man I had met just a month before, came to the hospital. He took me to his home, as I had a hairline fracture in my hip. He took such good care of me. It was at this point I knew he was a keeper!!!!
Ready for the crazy part of the story? One week after my accident, mind you it was 32 days after his accident, there was a story in the local paper. That is when we realized it was the same woman who hit us both! In the same Ford SUV. The accidents were 3 1/2 miles apart, on bright sunshiny days. She got his right leg, and my left. We both have injuries that will be with us our entire lives from the accidents.
The best part of this story is that fact is definitely stranger than fiction. No one believes it really happened that way, but we have the police reports to prove it. Our love is strong, and we are so perfect for one another. He supports me in so many ways, and I know that he appreciates the love I have for him. Our love has been crafted together beyond what either of us could have believed.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
WARMTH
My wonderful son turned 15 over the weekend. He is my baby, and always will be. I have two wonderful daughters as well. They are all wonderful children and have brought me such joy. They each came having their own lessons to teach me how to be a better parent. I wouldn't change that for the world! And they all have this amazing ability to warm my heart every day. All I have to do is open my eyes to see it.
The weather is finally warming up, for which I am so very grateful! Cold and I do not get along well. The hyacinths are blooming, and the tulips are up & out of the ground, and should be blooming in the next couple of weeks. It is so wonderful to see the new growth and know that warmth is coming soon. In fact, it may be down right HOT before too long.
So my question today is what brings warmth and joy to your heart? Do you have to dig deep to find it, or is it right there to grab onto? Do you need to do some spring cleaning to find it, dust maybe, or vacuum? We all have that spot where we hold those precious memories or ideas of what gives/brings happiness and joy. Sometimes I have to dig deep, and hold on with both hands once I find it. Other times all I have to do is be present in the moment to see the joy right in front of me, to feel the warmth of love from my husband, my children, my parents, and my friends, even strangers can warm my heart with just a smile. I have also found that "playing make-believe" can bring joy - and sometimes you have to fake it in order to find it again. So do yourself a big favor today, find what warms you through and through, and then go spread it to the rest of the world - one person at a time.
The weather is finally warming up, for which I am so very grateful! Cold and I do not get along well. The hyacinths are blooming, and the tulips are up & out of the ground, and should be blooming in the next couple of weeks. It is so wonderful to see the new growth and know that warmth is coming soon. In fact, it may be down right HOT before too long.
So my question today is what brings warmth and joy to your heart? Do you have to dig deep to find it, or is it right there to grab onto? Do you need to do some spring cleaning to find it, dust maybe, or vacuum? We all have that spot where we hold those precious memories or ideas of what gives/brings happiness and joy. Sometimes I have to dig deep, and hold on with both hands once I find it. Other times all I have to do is be present in the moment to see the joy right in front of me, to feel the warmth of love from my husband, my children, my parents, and my friends, even strangers can warm my heart with just a smile. I have also found that "playing make-believe" can bring joy - and sometimes you have to fake it in order to find it again. So do yourself a big favor today, find what warms you through and through, and then go spread it to the rest of the world - one person at a time.
Friday, March 25, 2011
BEING
I am contemplating my BEING right now. Who am I? Who am I meant to be? How do I effect others lives for the better? I know that the world does not revolve around me, but I do make a difference in the world. We are all here for a purpose.
I suffer from chronic health issues. I take medications to keep them under control, but more importantly, I know that having my thoughts in the positive range is much more important to living life. Life is survivable, but I want to LIVE it, enjoy it. I want to share the joy I find in life on a daily basis.
Therefore, I crochet and needle felt. When I am felting I am able to let go of the bad thoughts that like to replay in my mind, and I am able to see the joy that will come from my creations. Perhaps it will be the warmth and uniqueness of my hats, or the smiles that come from my sheep, or other animals I create. With each crochet stitch I see how the mistakes can be easily erased, and how sometimes you really have to think to make the pattern come out correctly.
And so it is in life....I take the mistakes, and grow from them, and felt through each day, to create my best possible BEING. Everyone may not appreciate who I am, how I respond to issues, however I give what love and encouragement I can to each person who touches my life.
I suffer from chronic health issues. I take medications to keep them under control, but more importantly, I know that having my thoughts in the positive range is much more important to living life. Life is survivable, but I want to LIVE it, enjoy it. I want to share the joy I find in life on a daily basis.
Therefore, I crochet and needle felt. When I am felting I am able to let go of the bad thoughts that like to replay in my mind, and I am able to see the joy that will come from my creations. Perhaps it will be the warmth and uniqueness of my hats, or the smiles that come from my sheep, or other animals I create. With each crochet stitch I see how the mistakes can be easily erased, and how sometimes you really have to think to make the pattern come out correctly.
And so it is in life....I take the mistakes, and grow from them, and felt through each day, to create my best possible BEING. Everyone may not appreciate who I am, how I respond to issues, however I give what love and encouragement I can to each person who touches my life.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Contemplative Questionings
Lately I have had many reasons for contemplating life. I have recently been able to attend some seminars that have made me really look into my life and see where I am and what I am attracting in my life. I want and need positivity in my life. I have a wonderful, loving, supportive family. I have many good, dear friends as well. I also have had my fair share of rough relationships. I grew, and continue to grow, from all experiences that come my way. As life continues to change day by day, as no day is the same, and there are new challenges every day, I look deeper into myself and search for the good, and focus on that. I wish that others in my life could do the same. My heart breaks for those who cannot see (or chose not to) what gifts they have, the little things in life that bring joy, and can only focus on the big issues, or make bigger issues out of the little things that don't really have much of a significance in life.
There are days where I am not always positive, or bubbly (as many refer to me), but who doesn't have a bad day here and there? I am not saying that you have to pretend 24/7 to be someone you are not, but to stay in that hole, that pit, and never want to see the sunshine.....what kind of life is that? I have been deep into depression many times in my life, and never thought I would come out of it. BUT I DID! and I did it on my own, not because someone else said I had to. It is a choice you have to make on a daily basis.....sink in, or dig out?!
I LOVE the feel of the sunshine on my face. I enjoy taking the time to smell the flowers, see them coming up in the spring, putting smiles on peoples faces, or making people laugh. I get joy by encouraging others to look at the bright side of things. I cannot help it if they choose to see it differently. I just know that I do my best, and that is what matters in life.
When was the last time you gave of yourself? When was the last time you accepted the responsibility of something wrong in a relationship and did something about it, instead of blaming others? When will you give, and what will you give to make the world a better place? When was the last time you sent a card in the mail, just to bless someone? When was the last time you sent a just because gift with no expectations of getting a thank you back....just random kindness to someone you don't really know? When was the last time you allowed someone to bless you? And then acknowledged it as a blessing? When? What? How? Why?
Search deep within yourself and your life. What do you really want from life? What to you want to give to make your life better?
There are days where I am not always positive, or bubbly (as many refer to me), but who doesn't have a bad day here and there? I am not saying that you have to pretend 24/7 to be someone you are not, but to stay in that hole, that pit, and never want to see the sunshine.....what kind of life is that? I have been deep into depression many times in my life, and never thought I would come out of it. BUT I DID! and I did it on my own, not because someone else said I had to. It is a choice you have to make on a daily basis.....sink in, or dig out?!
I LOVE the feel of the sunshine on my face. I enjoy taking the time to smell the flowers, see them coming up in the spring, putting smiles on peoples faces, or making people laugh. I get joy by encouraging others to look at the bright side of things. I cannot help it if they choose to see it differently. I just know that I do my best, and that is what matters in life.
When was the last time you gave of yourself? When was the last time you accepted the responsibility of something wrong in a relationship and did something about it, instead of blaming others? When will you give, and what will you give to make the world a better place? When was the last time you sent a card in the mail, just to bless someone? When was the last time you sent a just because gift with no expectations of getting a thank you back....just random kindness to someone you don't really know? When was the last time you allowed someone to bless you? And then acknowledged it as a blessing? When? What? How? Why?
Search deep within yourself and your life. What do you really want from life? What to you want to give to make your life better?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
More Fibers
My passion is needle felting, however, I also love crocheting. I have been crocheting since I was a little girl. Never really did much with it, just some scarves and a baby blanket here and there. I recently decided that I wanted to do more with it, so I went to a beginning crochet class at my local yarn store. I had a great time, and even learned a couple of new tricks.
I gave my step-mom and dad a crocheted kitchen towel and matching dish cloth for their new home. Mary was so excited to get the gifts, and said she wanted to learn to crochet. So I was able to teach her the basic chain, and the single crochet stitches. I am thrilled to be able to help her learn!
Monday I made my first cowl, basically a scarf that is pulled over your head to keep your neck warm, and can pull it up over your nose to help block the wind. I was so impressed with how quickly it came together, that I am now working on my third one! I've used 100% merino wool for one, Peruvian Cotton/modal/silk blend for another (thanks for the gift Kim!) and using a cotton type yarn for the one I started this morning.
Will post some more pictures as soon as this last one is completed. I made one yesterday for myself, and the one I started today is for my oldest daughter. She has asthma and the wind takes her breath away, so hopefully this will help prevent attacks.
I gave my step-mom and dad a crocheted kitchen towel and matching dish cloth for their new home. Mary was so excited to get the gifts, and said she wanted to learn to crochet. So I was able to teach her the basic chain, and the single crochet stitches. I am thrilled to be able to help her learn!
Monday I made my first cowl, basically a scarf that is pulled over your head to keep your neck warm, and can pull it up over your nose to help block the wind. I was so impressed with how quickly it came together, that I am now working on my third one! I've used 100% merino wool for one, Peruvian Cotton/modal/silk blend for another (thanks for the gift Kim!) and using a cotton type yarn for the one I started this morning.
Will post some more pictures as soon as this last one is completed. I made one yesterday for myself, and the one I started today is for my oldest daughter. She has asthma and the wind takes her breath away, so hopefully this will help prevent attacks.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Felted Fiber Addiction
I attended a fantastic seminar on Saturday, March 19th, and decided that it was time I join in the blog world. I have an addiction to fiber, and creating things with it. Needle felting has brought me immense joy, and I find that it is my drug of choice. I had been addicted to anger and all the wrongs people had done to me for so very long, and when a dear friend introduced me to needle felting, it started the snowball effect for me. When I am hurting emotionally, I find that creating something through "stabbing" roving with needles brings me serenity.
I blessed a friend with two needle felted sheep in February. That really started a snowball effect as well. I have several orders for sheep now, a total of 13 that I am in the midst of creating. I have four left to complete now. They each have their own personality, and I couldn't make two of the same even if I try. That is the joy in hand made items, nothing is ever duplicated exactly.
I will be posting pictures of the different stages of the process I take to make them.
I blessed a friend with two needle felted sheep in February. That really started a snowball effect as well. I have several orders for sheep now, a total of 13 that I am in the midst of creating. I have four left to complete now. They each have their own personality, and I couldn't make two of the same even if I try. That is the joy in hand made items, nothing is ever duplicated exactly.
I will be posting pictures of the different stages of the process I take to make them.
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